REVEALED: What Football Fans Would Rather Do Than Endure Another International Break

Published on: 16 November 2016

International breaks. They used to be a welcome distraction from the club you support being terrible, or the opportunity to see some world class talent that you wouldn't ordinarily have seen on TV.


In recent years, however, ever increasing numbers of fans - particularly in England - have become disenchanted about their players jetting off to play for their countries. You know, considering it's the clubs that pay them their handsome wages.


With the last international break of 2016 out of the way now though, fans can relax knowing that club football is here for four months before the next one. Not that that's stopped our readers voting in their droves over what they'd prefer to do than see another break roll into view any time soon:

It turns outthat, such is the annoyance that most feel towards international breaks, around half of the 14,189 voters would choose to do house work than endure two weeks' of often monotonous, hope-and-pray-your-club's-stars-come-back-uninjured football.


It's not difficult to see why. Football clubs, as discussed, pay players extortionate wages in the modern era and, with some reporting back to training after international excursions with knocks and more serious injuries, football fans are often left frustrated at not being able to watch their star men play for days or weeks as they recover on the sidelines.


Instead, the men - and women, because football isn't just for guys - would rather stick a pair of rubber gloves on, grab a bucket, mop and feather duster and clean their house from top to bottom. Don't forget to hoover those carpets either. There's probably six months' worth of biscuit crumbs, sweet wrappers and copious amounts of hair to get rid of!

When football fans realise there's no international break till march pic.twitter.com/EjrP1MGEy5

Coming in second in our poll was the heartwarming option of taking your nan for a nice - if slightly cold and tasteless - Toby Carvery dinner. Altogether now - n'aww.


With footballers forced to endure endless meals of chicken and rice, we football fans can enjoy the bounty of tasty morsels that life has to offer. Tea or coffee with a pie during match day? Or perhaps a portion of chips from the local chip shop around the corner from the ground? How about a quick pint down at the pub too? Sensational.


Unfortunately, your nan doesn't like football so you're taking her to the only place you know she'll be able to enjoy a luxurious roast dinner without you burning down her house. Luxurious might be wrong term, mind you, depending on when you go. Try and time it for all the fresh meat, potatoes, veg and gravy coming out next time.

If sitting through an international match where Germany invariably thrash a minnow 12-0 was painful enough, then how about a trip to the dentist instead? 15% of you voted for that option which, considering how many people absolutely detest going to get their teeth cleaned, is a surprising percentage.


That said, if anyone else reading this had to sit through that abject 0-0 draw between England and Slovenia recently, or even Sam Allardyce's sole match in charge of the Three Lions, which they somehow sneaked a 1-0 win from, maybe getting your gnashers pulled out would have been more enjoyable.


Last, but by no means least, the disenchantment with international breaks is so great for some that they would rather sit and watch a bunch of menopausal women discuss enlightening topics on ITV's lunchtime show Loose Women.

Yes, that's right, 14% of voters polled said they would opt to watch the likes of Ruth Langsford, Coleen Nolan and Katie Price talk about the latest hot topics, as well as host celebrity guests, on a TV show that presumably only students, OAPs and those pulling a sickie from work can watch due to the time that it is on.


Thinking about it, you could kill two birds with one stone and livestream Loose Women on your iPad for your nan, as she sits there watching it while she wolfs down a Toby Carvery. That way, you wouldn't get disturbed by her asking you about your love life and you could get on with sneakily heading home to do some housework instead.


There you go. The next time an international break rolls around, that's your plan. It's that, or a trip to get some needles shoved in your face as your dentist tells you that you need another filling. You're welcome.

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